The past few years have given me a lot to think about. My divorce and subsequent slide into single life, the loss of my job, mental health issues and even being homeless for a few months were all definite challenges that I’ve had to overcome, and though I’m still not at the end of the tunnel, I can certainly see the light. The journey of building your self-confidence is not one that you have to go on alone. I have friends that I turn to in order to talk things out, but I realized that everything starts from within me. How I choose to think about situations that come up will either negatively or positively affect the outcome. I choose positive, and I hope you will too!
Self-confidence is a tool that can help you reach your dreams. It can not only help you to manage your fears, but also to tackle challenges with more certainty by maintaining a positive mental attitude.
Boosting Self-Confidence By Doing
Do. Or do not. There is no try – Yoda
While the above quote may have been made by a fictional character in a movie, it is 100% accurate. You’re either going to DO something, or you’re not. Trying IS doing, and doing is always better than not doing!
- DO write that article
- DO wash that sink full of dishes
- DO clean out the car
- DO lose weight
- DO get the job you want
- DO make more money
- DO meet new people
- DO attain the things you deserve in life
Once you start DOING, you’re 90% of the way there!
Boosting your self-confidence can lead you to do all these things and more. Typically based on past experience and learned behaviours, self-confidence improves as your build upon your successes, and learn that you really can do it. Celebrate those past successes, as they can help your future growth.
“What the mind can conceive and believe it can achieve.” — Napoleon Hill
If you don’t believe you can achieve something, your negative thoughts will make sure you don’t achieve it. Your belief system plays a big part in boosting your self-confidence, and it may take some tweaks to produce some big results. DO vs TRY is one of those tweaks. Another one is that realizing that REASONS are just sugar coated EXCUSES.
In his book, “The Achievement Habit – Stop Wishing, Start Doing and Take Command Of Your Life” by Bernard Roth, he gets a little harsher by saying that reasons are “bullshit”.
The sooner you embrace the fact that when you give someone a reason for your behaviour, you are not being honest with yourself, the freer you will become. This resonated with me a lot given that I often find myself making excuses, typically because I have over-promised my time, though I have another excuse that I use a lot and that’s my issues with anxiety.
There might be really good reasons why you are late to a meeting, but the truth is that at the end of the day you simply didn’t think it was important enough to be on time. If someone told you that your entire family would be killed if you didn’t make it on time to that meeting, you would have found a way to make it there, no matter what the cost. Now that’s an extreme example, but you get the idea!
These lessons have become powerful affirmations for me in my life, and well.. here I am DOING!
The Power Of Positive Thinking
“Affirmations are a powerful tool to deliberately install desired beliefs about yourself.” — Nikki Carnevale
Every thought we have is either a positive or negative affirmation. Each negative thought can be more powerful than a positive affirmation because we (often mistakenly) find them easier to believe. It is these negative thoughts that feed and validate our negative internal beliefs. Under this kind of negative bombardment most people simply do not have the strength to break free of their negative thoughts and become hopelessly locked into their own (usually false) negative beliefs.
This is where a tweak to our thinking process comes in to play. Positive affirmations are designed to challenge those negative beliefs, and over a period of time (sometimes very quickly), we’ll notice that we choose to focus on a positive affirmation and let go of the negative thoughts. This is a process of becoming aware of your thoughts, and being very honest with yourself, but by focusing on the positive you’ll notice that the the flow of negativity decreases.
Positive Affirmations For Self-Confidence:
- When I believe in myself, so do others
- I am my own unique self – special, creative and wonderful
- I deserve to be happy and successful
- I have the power to change myself
Celebrate Your Successes
“To establish true self-confidence, we must concentrate on our successes and forget about the failures and the negatives in our lives.” — Denis Waitley
Failures will happen, and that’s ok! No one is perfect. The point is to get up, dust yourself off, and DO it again. With those tweaks to your thinking habits, your self-confidence will grow and you’ll notice the difference not just in yourself, but in life around you!
Take notice of your surroundings: Instead of focusing on the argument you had with your husband, notice the beauty that surrounds us. The new fallen snow covering the trees, the flowers blooming in the gardens around you. There’s a reason why the phrase “take time to stop and smell the roses” is so well known 😉
I hope I’ve given you a little bit of insight into boosting your self-confidence, as this is a journey that I’m taking right along with you! Please let me know your thoughts in the comments as I would truly love to hear from you. Perhaps we can continue this journey together!
— Wahm Dianne